“Why do people die”
“Because we’re evolving. One individual can’t withstand all the energy of evolution, so we go through the alternation of generations. Of course, that’s just one theory.”
“Even now, we’re evolving.”
“Little by little.”
“What’s the point of evolving?”
“There are many opinions about that. One thing that’s for sure is that the universe itself is evolving. Putting aside the question of whether or not it’s some kind of trend or willful intervention, the universe is evolving, and in the end, we’re merely a small part of that.”

I pushed away my glass of whiskey and lit a cigarette.

“Where that energy comes from, nobody knows.”
“Really?”
“Really.”

Spinning the ice around in her glass with her fingertip, she stared at the white tablecloth.
“Hey, after I die, a hundred years later, nobody’ll remember I even existed.”
“Looks that way.”

–Hear the Wind sing

“There’s no such thing as perfect writing. Just like there’s no such thing as perfect despair.” A writer I happened to meet when I was in college told me this. It was a long time before I finally understood what those words meant, but just knowing them was a kind of comfort that put me at ease. There’s no such thing as a perfect writing style. However, in spite of that, the thought of actually writing something always filled me with a sense of hopelessness, because the things I was able to write about were fairly limited. For example, if I were to write about elephants, I’d have had no idea what words to use. That’s what it was like. I struggled on with this dilemma for eight years. Eight years——that’s a long time. Of course, there’s a limit to how much you can try to learn about things, but it’s not as painful as being old. At least, that’s what they say. “ —Hear the Wind Sing

Today, I turned officially into thirty-four years old. 34. 34th time around the Sun. With that, it’s time to write another birthday post, which is something I’ve been doing since I turned 24 years old. That’s ten years ago! I still think blogging is nice, like writing your own diary, despite how everyone is on social media these days, but I believe emails and blogs still prevail. I read my first birthday post and it was brief. I had something to say about Chinese astrology, which if you had to guess someone’s age, all you have to do is ask what is their Chinese sign, then you’d be able to deduce which age s/he would be, as there are twelve signs, so 12 years margin in between. Also, I just realize New Lunar Year was last week on the 19th, so perhaps it makes sense that I’d write this annual post on my birthday since it happens soon after Lunar Day. I do know that China and Korea celebrate Lunar Year extensively. Not sure about Japan tho. It’s interesting to read through my birthday posts, like I dreamed about owning Honda S2000 one day which I did so a couple of years ago. I however sold the car so I could afford an engagement ring to propose to my wife, and ultimately, finance the wedding.

Speaking of wedding, in less than a year, I got married to my wife. I didn’t even see it coming myself but it happened rather quickly and like they say, timing is everything. One day, I thought I’d never meet anyone or get married, or having all sorts of relationship problems, trust issues, then the next thing I knew, I met someone and got married.

As I read through these birthday posts, I realize 10 years happened in an instant. So that means next 10 years will happen in an instant too. People say life is short. Indeed it’s true. Which brings up the topic of a bucket list. If you noticed, older people tend to say they have a bucket list. I’m noticing it myself that I’m slowly building one myself. There are things that I want to do, mostly around traveling to different places and do hiking. One is to see the volcanoes and lava flow in Big Island, Hawaii. I think Yuka and I might do that for our honeymoon vacation. Another one is climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. Looks like I’ve got a thing about volcanoes because I recently climbed Mt. Fuji in Japan, which was one of the most fulfilling trips I’ve ever had in my life. Another short-term goal is to hike Mt. Whitney, the highest summit in California. Right now, Yuka and I are planning a road trip to Mt. Whistler and hope to snowboard if there’s any snow up there! So, between playing golf, driving fast, running, traveling/hiking pretty much comprise my outdoor life. The rest, computers and reading books take over. And I need to write more.

Before I close this birthday post, one of the things I’ve been thinking often, like with our bucket lists, is our psychological state. Since our life is limited in finite numbers, it’s important to recognize and see where we are at in terms of life. Because if we don’t do that, we may lose sight on what’s important and we might find ourselves dissatisfied with life and paradoxically cut our life short. Every once in a while, I’d read Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development, do a quick review, and do a mental assessment of myself, to make sure I understand where I’m at and what I’d like to accomplish in life, so that I don’t get frustrated with myself or where things are going. Writing this birthday post is a great example, so I hope to write every year and more frequently in between, for as long as I can.

Happy New Lunar Year! 새해 복 많이 받으세요!

Past birthday posts:

Thirty-three
Thirty-two
Around the Sun 31 times
Thirty years old
Twenty-nine
Twenty-eight
Twenty-seven years old
Twenty-six years old
I turn 25 today.
The Existence of 24 years old on this Planet Earth.

Sushi dinner my wife made for me

I was in my 2001 green CR-V, driving on the highway. Though it’s a small engine with four cylinders, it could sustain speed surprisingly well, and cruising at 80 mph was plenty fast. It handled pretty well, basically a bigger version of the Civic, for which both cars were based on the same chassis frame. I had planned on trading the car away when my mom gave me this her “old” car. She got the newer CR-V. But I ended up keeping it, since it’s serving its purpose well—driving all over the Bay Area, enduring harsh bumps and puffing up hills in San Francisco, and to date, it’s never left me stranded alone on the highway.

Yuka, my wife, was sitting in the passenger seat. Outside the car was one of these classic days with a clear blue sky, temperature was literally perfect, at 68 f and felt warmer if you’re inside the car, with sunshine rays hitting against the glass. Few luxury cars passed us, then couple American muscle cars like a Corvette or Charger with Hemi V-8 engine would sneak out of nowhere and speed past them and us, as to say look who’s the boss here. Out on the road, I’d play a little mind game and try to identify which models they were, the years they were, and sometimes, I’d try to see who was behind the wheel, whether if it’s male or female, and made a bad stereo-typing. I turned my head around, only to find that my wife wasn’t doing any of what I was doing—cars spotting, stereo-typing, or enjoying scenery out front. She was just looking at me like I was doing some kind of a commercial or in a movie. Yes, looking at me, nothing else.

Realizing this, I made a little facial expression as to say “Yes? were you gonna say something?” She shook her head and said “I was just looking at you. That’s all.” This made me a bit self-conscious like was there something on my face or under my nose. I quickly checked myself in the front view mirror; nothing going on my face. Then, I said “So, you were just looking at me. Not interested in these cars much fancier than this green CR-V or the nice weather outside?” She responded “No, just you.” and she smiled at me. I made a small grin, turned my head back and to the road ahead. I could feel she was still looking at me. It’s hard to imagine I’d make a more interesting subject than these cars like Tesla Model S, GTR, Porsche 911s (my future dream car), or the likes. Then I felt her hand coming over and hold my hand. The CR-V kept up at 80 mph yet still few luxury cars passed us, then a Corvette or Charger roared past all of us. But I know she wasn’t paying attention to any of them and I dream of us in a Porsche or an electric vehicle someday. If you own an electric vehicle, then make sure to have an ev charger installation in your home.