There’s a first time for everything

Couldn’t sleep. Looked up in old Men’s Health magazines.

Read this article titled “There’s a first time for everything.” Not sure if the website has a copy of that and I’m in the mood to type it out.

1. The first time you see your father as a man, complete with flaws, unfulfilled dreams, and unchained lust. Your mission: Learn from him, but don’t repeat after him.

I have.

3. Your first paycheck. It gave you a one-two combination punch from the invisible hand of capitalism, the first being that yes, taxes suck. The second: This is not nearly enough dough. Both fueled your ambition to earn more zeros. And still should.

Yup, it still does.

5. Your first wedding as a groomsman. You looked your best, the free booze flowed and you had that genuine pang of hope that someonday you’d find the woman of your dreams–and that she might ust be that hot bridesmaid dancing to “Baby Got Back.”

I have. One of the best experiences. And still yet to find that person. Someday I shall.

6. The first time you dump a girl. It took balls to walk away from free nooky. Maybe you’re stronger than you think.

I have and it was hard. Hope I don’t have to do it again.

7. The first time you’re picked last. First thought: I suck. Second: I’ll show them. That mojo can last a lifetime.

Yes, that’s the most important.

8. The first time you encounter mechanical failure in bed. Laugh it off, reboot, and spend the next hour pleasing her. She’ll remember it as your best performance ever.

Hasn’t happened but that seems possible. I’m already well-read.

9. Your first medical scare. Next time you’re in the drive-thru or at the gym, remember that panic.

I didn’t get the scare but regardlessly, I’m working out.

11. The first time you stay out all night and see the sunrise. Freedom. Hope. Endless possibilities. Attack every dawn with that mix of surprise, awe, and optimism.

That’s why I camp out in my Element. :-)

12. The first time your 401(k) nmber surpasses your annual earnings. It means you’ll be buying and not serving the lattte at Starbucks in 2048.

About halfway there already.

13. The first time you walk away from an animal pleasure–the fourth pitcher, the availabe wench. It’s an indication that your cerebral cortex has finally taken over from your lizard brain. Now you can pursue a life, rather than merely live it.

Yup, have been drinking quality beers like new belgium beers and start to experiment with mixed drinks. I’ll wait till when I’m over 30 years to start appreciating the fine taste of wine. Ha.