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Rooster of the year and Murakami

This year marks 12th year since I wrote my first birthday post. So, I’ve completed third cycle based on the Chinese calendar. Perhaps it was in my own subconscious that I was inspired to write my first birthday post because I realize it’d be the rooster sign that year and to my own surprise, I kept up with my birthday writing and here I am, 36 years old, in my third cycle of the Chinese calendar. As you know, Lunar New Year doesn’t happen on the first day of the new year (Jan. 1) but later in the year, on January 28th. Know who has a birthday on the same day? It’s my mom’s birthday. :) All sorts of different connections there.

So, today, I turn thirty-six years old. Or 36 times around the Sun. This time, I’m closer to the 40 years old mark than I am towards 30 years old. It has that feeling of running more than halfway to the first mile on your daily treadmill run. Since average life expectancy is around 77 years old for men, 40 years is like middle age, so I’m quickly reaching that halfway point. I am a believer of the law of averages, so I expect to be deceased by the age of 80. Anything longer than that would be considered bonus to me. That’s how I shall look at my life, the scarcity of it, not that there’s anything despair about it, just how life is.

The funny part when I turned 30 years old, it wasn’t in the United States but in South Korea, where I wouldn’t have had the wildest dreams of being able to live in South Korea before that. I had thought the only time I’d be in South Korea was when I was born and that’s it. Speaking of finding my roots in South Korea, I’d come across an excerpt that I thought sums it up very well. It was none other than Haruki Murakami himself, one of my idol authors. Here’s what he has to say:

INTERVIEWER: You can’t have a detective unless something’s missing.

MURAKAMI: Right. When my protagonist misses something, he has to search for it. He’s like Odysseus. He experiences so many strange things in the course of his search…

INTERVIEWER: In the course of trying to come home.

MURAKAMI: He has to survive those experiences, and in the end he finds what he was searching for. But he is not sure it’s the same thing. I think that’s the motif of my books. Where do those things come from? I don’t know. It fits me. It’s the driving power of my stories: missing and searching and finding. And disappointment, a kind of new awareness of the world.

After reading that excerpt, I’ve finally found my own answer, in that I was like Odysseus trying to find his way home and to be reunited back with his family but of course, the gods kept messing around with him and one certain goddess who had taken a liking to him. After discovering my family in 2002 and having met several more, I feel like my own identity has grown more firmly, knowing where I came from and how I’ve gotten at this point, almost like how a star is born. Whenever people got curious about my adoption and asked why I’d want to find my birth family in Korea, it can be pretty difficult to give an answer but this Odysseus experience sums it up well for which I can give as an answer, given if they’d know about the story of Odysseus and the Virgil.

Here’s what Murakami said at the end:

INTERVIEWER: Disappointment as a rite of passage?

MURAKAMI: That’s right. Experience itself is meaning. The protagonist has changed in the course of his experiences—-that’s the main thing. Not what he found, but how he changed.

I agree completely with this, that when I visited South Korea for the first time ever, it was the experience that gave me a sense of meaning, rather than what I found. I suppose it was a good thing I was able to keep an open mind, not expecting South Korea to be exactly the same as the U.S. was, or any country for that matter. It’s just what it is, and like everybody else, everyone has their own shortcomings. With that said, I believe I was given up for a reason, and that’s all it matters. The rest of it, is utterly up to me and how shall I want to spend my life.

If you’ve kept up with my posts, you probably could tell I’m a big fan of Murakami. It was from reading his books that I’ve come to the sense of myself, and whatever thoughts I may have in my mind is not all that weird. Like a true fan who wants to bid on lunch auction (worth $1 million or more) with the billionaire Warren Buffett or to shoot a round of golf with Tiger Woods himself, I’d love to run a 10k with Haruki Murakami and have a beer afterwards and discuss on the finer things in life and women. I can only hope I can persuade him to a glass of Sierra Nevada Pale ale, my favorite beer.

-nathan

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Thirty-three

It’s time to write another birthday post, right? I know I haven’t been able to keep my blog updated at all. Need to work on that but here goes my birthday post. As I read my last post, I realize I accomplished almost all of them. Ran a marathon in SF. I ran 4:05, was hoping to run under that, but mile 15 hit me again (this was my 2nd marathon and in my first marathon, I withdrew because of bad cramps) and I started having cramps again. I had to walk a few miles and tried to get hydrated. Then I’d try to jog again. That went on for another 11 miles and crossed the finish line. 5 mins past 4 hour mark. That’s ok, I’ll try to run faster than that next time.

Another thing I did in 2013 was traveling to Japan and Korea, which I did mention in the last post. I did climb Mt. Fuji! See the pic below. I actually did some training prior to climbing, mostly running and lifting some weights. Then, I did some hiking with my brother in Seoul. I’ve hiked 5 peaks around Seoul. The next one will be the big mountains in Gangnam with my brother and do some real camping. That’s next. I learned something about myself that I really like hiking/climbing, so that’s something to look forward in 2014.

2013 also was the year I did a lot of thinking, reading, and walking. On my work breaks, I go out and walk around the campus a bit. Sometimes, to get fresh air, a drink, or try some new fruits. I need to eat more fruits tho. Then, I’d get back to my desk and resume working.

Towards the end of 2013, something happened. I met a girl. Last summer, I stayed mostly local in SF and explore new coffee places and restaurants. Hm, I need to work on my Yelp reviews, the goal is to become elite member this year. I also tried to meet friends, some are far away, and that’s how I met her. We met a few times during summer and had a BBQ. As I was working the grill, my eye started to glance at her, then follow her around. I notice she was attentive to things and would try to help out if she can. So I asked her if she could help with this and she did. When the meats got done cooking, she would stand by and hold a tray next to me and I flip into it. Once the whole table was set up and the foods ready, we started eating. I had a question to her. “How was the steak?” “Good!” she replied, still chewing. Remember we can sign while eating.

Looks like I’ve already got some plans ready this year, 2014. It should be fun and I’ll try to write more often!

More pics here.

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Thirty-two

I’ve recently turned thirty-two years (32) old. As some of you may know, I’d write something on my birthday or relatively close to it. I’ve just gotten back from snowboarding in Lake Tahoe. Kirkwood resort, to be precise. It got some snow last week, which was why I went, and it was great! Kirkwood is known to have decent snow based on its location since it’s at the highest base, 7,800, and its summit is at 9,800 feet. So, I went up there and boarded all the way from top to the bottom. It was fun and I’d try to do little jumps off bumps, and switched on both stances—goofy and regular. It’s amazing to see how far I’ve learned in snowboarding and I am trying to do more jumps with bigger air. It just takes practice and commitment to improve upon yourself. This year, I am staying local as I am saving up money to go to Japan later this summer and climb/hike Mt. Fuji. It’s been a goal of mine and I want to do some extra traveling around in Japan. Also, my sister and her family just moved there, for her husband’s Christian services. I hope to be in a good shape by then and will be training for a marathon in SF before that. A good friend of mine, Jess Conboy, will join me in the race. It’ll be his 9th marathon and his life goal is to qualify for the Boston marathon someday, with a time of 3:05 or faster. This one will be only my second, ha. I plan to run in a few races before the marathon to help me get ready. :) So, I’m trying to stay active, do fitness things because I realize how much I spend sitting on my ass by the computers. Not kidding you.

I’ve been living in SF for over a year, well almost two years, and yes, I’m one of these Googlers who takes the shuttle bus down to Mountain View, as my commute. It’s pretty nice except traffic is godly horrible. So I try to read news or a book. Sometimes, I do some work in the bus but the constant bounce in the ride makes me dizzy, so I’d sit quiet and look outside, enjoy the daylight, and just think generally, and be ready to hit the keyboard once I get in the office. Speaking of working, I’d need to make some statistics of my work and use it for a summary report once annual performance hits. Google is still a great place to work, although I’ve been on the horizon for something different, something more personal, like giving service to the deaf people or help with their program funding. Last summer, I actually went to the NAD conference in Louisville, KY to give a workshop on the new Google products—Google Plus and Google Hangouts–and also showed third-party plugins that connects you to an interpreter from VRS and another in captioning. It was a cool experience and was nice to meet some familiar faces, as deaf community is small. Plus, I also contacted several people from Diversity team and asked for a grant. So, this is something I’d like to do more, getting more grants and help support deaf programs or organizations.

As I’m getting close to the halfway between 30 and 40, I’m starting to realize that I’m not as young as I used to be. I remember before, I’d be pretty careless about my age. Nonetheless, I’m becoming more conscious of my age, which does enable me to know more about myself and what I’d like to do. Getting into Google was great, moving to California was great, working abroad in Korea was awesome, now I’m back here in CA and in the heart of San Francisco. I’m trying to go out as much as I can because I know not too far ahead, I’d probably have met someone and likely will have a family. How that will be, I have no idea but I’m up to the challenges and experiences it may present.

-nathan

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THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE HABIT 1 : BE PROACTIVE

“Your life doesn’t just “happen.” Whether you know it or not, it is carefully designed by you. The choices, after all, are yours. You choose happiness. You choose sadness. You choose decisiveness. You choose ambivalence. You choose success. You choose failure. You choose courage. You choose fear. Just remember that every moment, every situation, provides a new choice. And in doing so, it gives you a perfect opportunity to do things differently to produce more positive results.”

link

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Dad

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my dad. I’m not sure why. I think when I was little, I looked up at him highly. My dad had a way of dealing with people like how he feels he can get anything he wanted and he was good at smooth-talking. He once told me a story of how he’d steal a HS basketball star’s girlfriend by talking to her often during halftime at basketball games, then she’d decide that he was more fun to hang around than watching her old boyfriend play basketball. He’d tell me different stories and how adventurous he used to be, riding his motorcycle all over America. It was cool to hear how he’d ridden his bike all the way to San Francisco in 1975, spent 4 nights here and that it would be his last such road trip before he met my mom and got married in 1977 and bought a tiny house together. They had no idea that one day, they would adopt a son. He also told me that when he was in SF, he stopped by a small grocery shop. The guy who owned the shop was an immigrant from Korea and apparently, he knew some sign language, communicated with my dad. He was impressed by that. He wondered what had become of the guy.

Last year, my parents flew to Seoul, Korea for the first time ever and I was excited for them that they were visiting Korea. However, I must admit something was wrong. My dad didn’t look adventurous at all. It was like he was annoyed to be coming here in Korea. Maybe the long 14 hours flight bothered him more than he’d expect. “What the heck are we supposed to do now? How the heck do we get ourselves to the hotel?” he’d ask with a grunt. I was a bit taken back by his sudden remarks and I said don’t worry about that, I’m happy you got here OK.” They got their luggage and we went outside to the front and waited for the bus. I explained to them that there were different buses coming here and we would wait at this spot till our bus came. I realized that at this time, they would be of a minority race visiting a foreign country while I, on the other hand, looked like more like the majority race and knew my way around. I was curious to see how they’d react to this and will my dad still get his way around, like he usually does back in his homeland, America?

We got on the bus and sat in the back. My dad was somewhat impressed by this bus as he sat in a comfortable big chair and the driver started rumbling down the highway. Dad looked a bit more at ease now. Maybe he just had a long flight, I thought. I asked them how do they feel to be in Korea? knowing for a fact that they weren’t exactly frequent world travelers. “It’s a new experience” answered my mom, who always had that little worried look on her face. My dad just nodded and looked like he can hardly wait to check himself into a hotel. Where’s the adventurous spirit? I thought to myself. I don’t think they really knew how much I’ve worked to get myself into this position, getting a chance to work in Korea and for them to have an opportunity to visit the country where I was born in. I paid their airfares.

We finally got into a hotel, got into an elevator, and whizzed up tens of the floors, then finally stopped at my floor. The hotel was actually one of the top premium hotels in Seoul normally where rich businessmen or high-ranking government officials would stay at, so I was fortunate to be a resident here at this hotel. My parents seemed impressed, “This is a nice hotel.”, starting to forget the long flight they’d had. I showed them around the suite room, trying my best to make them feel as comfortable as possible. “There is a nice little 7-11 store downstairs in the basement that has everything from water to wine. Do you want to go down and look?” My dad’s eyes widened, his stiff acting starting to ease up a bit, maybe he’s becoming thirsty now. “Sure, I’d like to go down.” my dad said. My mom wanted to rest a bit and she was already flipping channels on TV, trying her best to find a rerun of Days of Our Lives soap opera, her favorite TV program. There were no U.S. channels on TV. I didn’t tell her that.

My dad and I got into the elevator and when the doors closed, I decided to ask my dad a straight question. “I got the impression that you don’t seem too thrilled to be visiting here in Korea. Was the flight really that long?”

My dad seemed surprised by my direct question, hoping I wouldn’t see his honest expression.

“Yeah, the flight was quite long, I didn’t really have a good sleep and didn’t even get the right whiskey drink I asked the flight attendant to make.” Dad said.

I realized this jet lag was affecting my parents more than I had expected and they’re becoming more grumbled so I let it go and the elevator reached at the bottom. Maybe they weren’t really comfortable with the idea that they’re not in the U.S. and are in a foreign country for a good measure, I thought. It was misleading for them to think that their son was always thrilled to be in the U.S. during the whole time. I knew this would be their such last trip too.

“Do you suppose the Korean guy in the 7-11 would know some sign language?” he asked.

I finally smiled.

**Dad in the far background, eagerly pulling his luggage. 3 feet of snow was dumped on this day as they were heading back to the U.S.

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Here is your assignment.

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Identity

Thought I’d take some time to share some of my thoughts as I’ve been here in Korea for a little more than a month. Initially, I was excited to be here, to have some new experiences and to get know Korea in a first-hand manner. By now, I’d say the novelty has settled in and I’ve been thinking about myself and the world at large.

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30 years old.

Now that I’ve turned thirty years old, it’s a significant milestone in my life, for sure. Much of that has been learning about myself, who I am, and what I like doing. I’ve come a long way from being born, adopted, then found my birth family in 2002, and now I’m living in Korea for a year.

For those who know me well, I enjoy thinking about philosophy and generally question things. There’s lots of good stuffs on the Internet and I like to think of things in terms of science and universe like what Carl Sagan usually shared. Although Earth is a big planet (maybe not so much with the world population rapidly growing), it’s really really tiny out in the universe alone and it makes us much smaller. I’ve realized that we’ve pretty much existed in our consciousness, taking part in the light. It’s weird that we can hear same sounds, see same things, yet be in different bodies. I guess it’s the mind that binds us and our souls residing in bodies. My line of thinking is similar to that of Soren Kierkegaard and Friedrich Nietzsche with the idea of existentialism. Kierkegaard maintained that the individual is solely responsible for giving his or her own life meaning and for living that life passionately and sincerely in spite of many existential obstacles and distractions including despair, angst, absurdity, alienation, and boredom. Both of them also believed that one should define the nature of their own existence. It’s a similar notion to one quote I read—“Life isn’t about finding yourself it’s about creating yourself.” That’s what I believe in, and that’s mainly one reason why Facebook is so popular because it’s given us tools to share ourselves rather conveniently.

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The personal journal of Doogie Howser, M.D.

The personal journal of Doogie Howser, M.D.

This TV show was one of my fave childhood shows and they couldn’t have found a better actor than Neil Patrick Harris. He really carried the whole TV episodes. At the end of each episode, he would turn on his computer and write about his experience or feeling. There were lots of good lessons about life, jobs, love, etc. Many of his words strike true in me. I have a DVD collection of this.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 1989

$100,000, a six-week vacation, and my own air-conditioned office vs. Hector Gonzales… No contest.
POSTED BY DOOGIE HOWSER AT 7:40 PM

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Displacement

I just purchased a one way plane ticket to Seoul, Korea and that’s a little over a month from now when I will have stepped my foot over there for one more time.

Like one of my friends’ favorite maxims, “No replacement for displacement.” He’s a big fan of the LS series engine with those big V8 cylinders. At the beginning, I’d argue with him and reasoned that a 4 cylinders engine could keep up with the best of them while being efficient on fuel. He said that’s cool but when it comes down to raw power and torque, nothing can replace displacement. Yep. When you want a go in your car, you just tap your foot on the pedal and a V8 engine will gladly rev up for you without too much effort. Not quite so on a i4 engine, you’d have to bring the rpm up high, get VTEC to kick in to experience some substantial power output. To put it succinctly, he said the Corvette is the closest thing next to a Ferrari that is mass-produced and affordable. Well said, friend.

Well, as luck would have it, I will be returning to the country where I was born in but was “displaced” at the age of three. In the last few years, I have given a lot of thoughts about going back to the country especially after having discovered my family and learned that my sister is deaf too. As I thought about my life and what I’d like to do with it, I realize that I cannot, in my good conscience, leave both my sister (and her husband and my niece) and my brother behind and pretend they are a figment of my imagination. They did not have the same fortune of living in the land of opportunity, America, and get a college education. Sometimes, I wonder what really went through my biological father’s mind when he made a decision to give me up for adoption? He must have made an insight that had I stayed in Korea, I wouldn’t have had same opportunities that I was able to experience. It’d be nice to inquire him about that a bit more but it was hard to communicate with him since we had nothing in common except for the blood and Korea has such a manner that parents do not reveal much to their children.

Another desire to go back to my country is to learn a bit more of the culture and what is culture without language? The language, Hangul, as I have learned, is a very effective language and is the only language to have a national holiday based on. I’ve always got a thing for languages in American Sign Language and English and thought it’d be cool to learn another language and become fluent at it. I often have a dream that I was able to converse in any of four languages. I realize that the image I have of myself has significantly changed after I visited Korea for the first time in 2002. It validated my existence, my identity and saw where I was truly from. Even at this point in today’s society and time, we have progressed enough not to use race as discrimination but our identity still remain important. So, going back to Korea will enrich my identity at the extent of who I am. There’s no replacement for displacement.

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Twenty-nine

So, I turn 29 years old today. It’s turned into a tradition that I’d write something on my birthday. Here’s the last five.

It’s hard to believe that I’d start a blog way back in the fall of 2004. More than five years have passed since. I haven’t been blogging much lately but have written a few notes on my Facebook, as pretty much everyone is using the Internet and I’m becoming more cautious of what I’m writing here as people seem to be nitpicking pretty much over anything. But I think I shouldn’t be concerned about that and just write for myself. So, I hope to be more forthcoming this year. :)

I seem to be accomplishing most of the goals that I listed last year, which was rather simple and that I want to take life at its face value, and ofc, keep contributing to my work at Google, which has been both productive and fulfilling, kept me busy for much of the time. Last year, I pondered about why we’re here and our purpose, leading my belief to the philosophy of existentialism. To extend that thought, I also thought about physics and realized that everything’s a reflection of light. Without light, we simply can’t see anything including ourselves. So, we’re in this visible light spectrum and since light is made of some electromagnetic properties (photons and quanta) that actually bend toward gravity (mass), that creates time and space. We’re all moving along on this timeline, and thanks to technology like the Internet and computers as a tool, we’re able to record events and express our thoughts through talking, videotaping, or writing. With those recorded media, we’re able to rewind and remember our timelines. All made possible by light.

I’m actually doing a lot of snowboarding (gone to Lake Tahoe and Colorado) and my skill has been improving steadily that I can do some air jumps and rotations. The highlight of 2009 was traveling to five different countries—Taiwan, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Hong Kong—and managed to meet a few deaf people along the way. We really do exist all over the world, though not as many as other group identities.

I believe in the next few years, we’ll be more connected than ever, thanks to social networking like Facebook and Twitter. With enough smart motivated minds, we will make some serious progress that will be unprecedented by any time in the past. Equal rights in marriage, better/more education, tools, networking, and transparency will lead to a better management of the economy. No one is going to fix the economy as if he has a magic wand but I think with enough information and assistance, we’ll better able to manage our money and take responsibility for ourselves and our actions.

My goals for this year is pretty much the same except I’d like to be more focused on a few certain things, to make efforts at, and bring my dreams closer to reality. Much of that will be improving my coding skill and outputting more like blogging and taking pictures. Shedding light on my timeline.

Finally, to close this birthday post, someone very important is turning 55 in two days. That’d be Steve Jobs. He was struggling with his health last year and got a liver transplant, and he’s said he’s feeling better. Great. This is written with a Macbook Pro. And iPad is just gonna rock. You just wait and see.

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Metaphysics of Quality

I’m not sure how eloquent or articulate this will be, as I attempt to explain this thought I have in my mind. For some time, I’ve been thinking why we’re here and how we come into existence but that’s a kinda too far-fetched question as no one knows for sure and there is an ever battle between religions on this question.

The more important question we should be asking ourselves is that since we’re already here, the question is what are we doing with ourselves and time? I’ve been thinking about that as I drove alone for 7 hrs one way to Los Angeles and San Diego. Well, I think I’m closer to the truth than I ever have been in my whole life. I’d like to throw in an excerpt from Wikipedia.

“Quality,” or “value,” as described by Pirsig, cannot be defined because it empirically precedes any intellectual constructions. It is the “knife-edge” of experience, known to all. “What distinguishes good and bad writing? Do we need to ask this question of Lysias or anyone else who ever did write anything?” (Plato’s Phaedrus, 258d). Likening it with the Tao, Pirsig believes that Quality is the fundamental force in the universe stimulating everything from atoms to animals to evolve and incorporate ever greater levels of Quality. According to the MOQ, everything (including the mind, ideas, and matter) is a product and a result of Quality.

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Twenty-eight

As is accustomed for me to write a self post on my birthday. See my last four:

Twenty-seven years old
Twenty-six years old
I turn 25 today.
The Existence of 24 years old on this Planet Earth.

I’m actually writing this post on Facebook’s notes. I’m not sure why but it’s probably the social vibe behind this app that is going on (with 175+ million users having signed up) and this awareness that I’m not the only one hitting on a keyboard. It’s almost like writing on a typewriter in a busy newsroom, only figuratively. I also really like the font typeface and its size – gotta send props to the designer who chose the font. I don’t even know what’s the font face – looks like Tahoma family to me, though.

To my amazement, I found out that I’m not the only one to do this type of post. Matt Mullenweg who created WordPress as a open source blogging software, also does the same thing – see his. He’s a Dvorak typist too. Not too long ago, I started to type pretty comfortable in Dvorak but had to stop because I sometimes needed to type on others’ keyboard to communicate with them and their layout is in QWERTY, so I would get stuck and have to remember how to type in QWERTY again. So, no good there.

Since I’m aware that my birthday is in Feb, I tend to wait and think back while people get busy bringing in the new year and making resolutions. And I started thinking about what I would like to say in my self post, so here this is.

It’s been more than a year since I moved here from Washington DC. It was an exciting time, thrilled to be working right in Googleplex, made a full transcontinental move to the west coast. And I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. Wouldn’t replace for anything. It was hard to believe that I could be walking into a room and see the CEO or founders there. But now, I’ve gotten used to the sight and don’t get as excited as before. This year also has been a year of consciousness/awareness that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about who I am and how we all come into existence. Moreover, I think this year, more or less, marks the first time that I’ve come to terms with myself. I wasn’t always so proud of myself like being the only Asian in my class for most of my life and had some people making fun of my not-so-rounded eyes and my penchant in school. Before, when I looked at myself in the mirror, I was like, so this is an Asian-looking guy yet I don’t feel one bit like an Asian. Now, I don’t feel that way anymore and feel proud to be myself. I am who I am. I can’t imagine wanting to be someone else.

In terms of consciousness, I’ve tried to increase awareness in this capacity and how decisions we make may affect us. Sometimes, I do wonder if I even exist. The answer is yes and you do exist too. What you see is what you get. Activity on Facebook, pictures we appear in, comments we made, news we read. We know what the Golden Gate or Washington Monument looks like, we know how burgers from In n Out taste like, we know who is now the President of the U.S., and we know we can’t live without air and water. That’s existentialism. We exist, though how do we want to spend this present time is up to us.

As for my goals this year, well, not much, really. Just enjoy life and hang out with friends, also do fun stuffs like snowboarding, traveling, and seriously learn how to surf. The big thing will be the southeast Asia trip and Deaflympics. So, till then, take lots of pictures, blogging and being myself.

Lastly, I’d like to close this post by saying early happy birthday to Steve Jobs who will be turning 54 in two days and to wish him the best in his health. He was born an orphan here in Mountain View, CA. Cool.

The best is yet to come. :D

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25 random things about me

1. My first meal when I was adopted to here from Korea was a happy meal from McDonald.

2. I’m not much of a talker myself, so if you find me pretty quiet, don’t feel offended. You can be assured that my thoughts are almost always running at 100 mph per hour. If anything, I’d rather coding, writing, reading, or actually be doing something.

3. I’ve come to realize that emotional intelligence (or street smart) is as important as being smart in school. That said, my dad has a way better EI than I do, unfortunately.

4. My dad has many great stories when he was younger like he rode motorcycle across America and into Mexico. I think his life sounds better than mine already.

5. I try not to be judgmental but I’m capable of asking questions that would reveal who/what you are in a matter of minutes.

6. My 3rd grade teacher made me sit outside in the hallway because I made fun of her signing skill. It wasn’t very good at all, in fact. I hate it when teachers think their ASL is wonderful just like these girls who think their voice is great but is completely off-key. Know what I’m saying?

7. There are four men that I’d very much want to meet: Tiger Woods, Rick Reilly, Steve Jobs, and President Obama. (not necessarily in order)

8. I found out what I was made of after I spent ten weeks summer internship in Miami, FL. I knew nobody there, woke up at 6:30 am every day, did not miss a single day despite 1 1/2 hour of commuting, worked out a lot (they had a workout room on the third floor) and at the end, they held a farewell party for me and gave me appreciation award, which was unexpecting.

9. I’m a huge Honda fan. Huge. My dream is to own a ’01 Prelude SSH, then S2000, and lastly, an NSX. I currently drive an Element and used to own ’04 Civic Si hb till I totaled it.

10. Sometimes, I can’t believe I work at Google and help push doodles onto homepages. I consider it a privilege and will never take it for granted. I’m lucky to have a great team, also.

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Death anxiety

I’ll have to accept this fact of knowledge. I have death anxiety. Not that it’s a bad thing but the thought of that enables me to do things and do my best. Time is all what we have.

Death anxiety.

The fear of death has been rated as the most common and the second worst fear that troubles us… …The fear of death is largely due to four reasons. Firstly, the fear of the unknown, secondly, the fear of losing our loved ones, thirdly, fear of pain and suffering and/or being alone at the time of death and finally, the fear of ceasing to exist or the finality of death.

Some quotes:

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” – Pubilius Syrus (100 B.C.)

“A well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death. Death is more universal than life, everyone dies but not everyone lives.” – Leondard da Vinci (1452-1519)

Steve Jobs had some words to say on the topics too. Read his commencement speech.

Often, how I make decisions is based on whether if I’ll have regrets. So, I ask myself, would I regret if I didn’t do this? if not, then I just do it. If yes, then I won’t. That’s the way I think.

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