Lately, I’ve been thinking about human consciousness and our existence, as well as spirituality and religions. I finally understood why people have religions, to explain our existence, our purpose and eventually, our death. That is the fact of life. Doesn’t get any simpler than that.

I believe that we come out of nothingness, which is actually some kind of magic like the birth of universe, by the infusion of one sperm and one egg. A man and woman. As we grow to become adults and getting to our prime, we procreate. Babies are born and the cycle goes on. Till we grow old and can no longer function and then drifts back into nothingness, become unconscious but with our spirit, we’ll be somewhere, wherever we want to be, with our families or loved ones. I support the first amendment, by the freedom of religion that anyone can believe in whatever they like to, just as long as it doesn’t result into violence and compromise one’s life. If they want to believe they were a cockroach or something, there’s nothing wrong with that either.

Because in the end, we all drift into nothingness but worry not, we all mean somebody to someone.

Couldn’t sleep. Looked up in old Men’s Health magazines.

Read this article titled “There’s a first time for everything.” Not sure if the website has a copy of that and I’m in the mood to type it out.

1. The first time you see your father as a man, complete with flaws, unfulfilled dreams, and unchained lust. Your mission: Learn from him, but don’t repeat after him.

I have.

3. Your first paycheck. It gave you a one-two combination punch from the invisible hand of capitalism, the first being that yes, taxes suck. The second: This is not nearly enough dough. Both fueled your ambition to earn more zeros. And still should.

Yup, it still does.

5. Your first wedding as a groomsman. You looked your best, the free booze flowed and you had that genuine pang of hope that someonday you’d find the woman of your dreams–and that she might ust be that hot bridesmaid dancing to “Baby Got Back.”

I have. One of the best experiences. And still yet to find that person. Someday I shall.

6. The first time you dump a girl. It took balls to walk away from free nooky. Maybe you’re stronger than you think.

I have and it was hard. Hope I don’t have to do it again.

7. The first time you’re picked last. First thought: I suck. Second: I’ll show them. That mojo can last a lifetime.

Yes, that’s the most important.

8. The first time you encounter mechanical failure in bed. Laugh it off, reboot, and spend the next hour pleasing her. She’ll remember it as your best performance ever.

Hasn’t happened but that seems possible. I’m already well-read.

9. Your first medical scare. Next time you’re in the drive-thru or at the gym, remember that panic.

I didn’t get the scare but regardlessly, I’m working out.

11. The first time you stay out all night and see the sunrise. Freedom. Hope. Endless possibilities. Attack every dawn with that mix of surprise, awe, and optimism.

That’s why I camp out in my Element. :-)

12. The first time your 401(k) nmber surpasses your annual earnings. It means you’ll be buying and not serving the lattte at Starbucks in 2048.

About halfway there already.

13. The first time you walk away from an animal pleasure–the fourth pitcher, the availabe wench. It’s an indication that your cerebral cortex has finally taken over from your lizard brain. Now you can pursue a life, rather than merely live it.

Yup, have been drinking quality beers like new belgium beers and start to experiment with mixed drinks. I’ll wait till when I’m over 30 years to start appreciating the fine taste of wine. Ha.

One of my friends is studying medicine and I asked why did she decide to study in that field.

her: well, I have a theory. I think it’s because I have a short attention span. I tend to change subjects every two years as I get bored of them easily. Medicine is one subject I think I wouldn’t get bored too easily and it should have enough things to keep myself and my so-called attention span busy. And I like to prescribe medicine for people. What about you? why computer science?

me: because it talks back to me.

her: Oh! you are weird! I just know a medicine I ought prescribe for you!

This man is something. Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Men are born to write… Whatever he beholds or experiences, comes to him as a model and sits for its picture. He counts it all nonsense that they say, that some things are undescribable. He believes that all that can be thought can be written, first or last; and he would report the Holy Ghost, or attempt it. Nothing so broad, so subtle, or so dear, but comes therefore commended to his pen, and he will write. In his eyes, a man is the faculty of reporting, and the universe is the possibility of being reported.

I’m trying to write more, on my work blog and this one.

Link

“Do profoundly deaf people who learn to talk have a voice in their head?”
– Heather & Allen Exby

“My best answer to this,” Hauser wrote, “is that the brain has a special capacity to develop phonological representations, even when it does not have auditory input. The representations might be dramatically different from what hearing individuals hear. Nevertheless, they function in the mind as ’sounds.’” Deaf schizophrenics, he continued, have auditory hallucinations, and blind schizophrenics have visual ones.

This is a good link. I think thoughts are just what they are, thoughts. They don’t really exist physically but from our minds and apparently, 99% of them express theirs phonologically while we express with our hands visually in Sign.

Link

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

Cool, nice to know that I’m not the only one having those thoughts. Thoughts are powerful. Oh yeah, he was adopted too. Cool.

Taken from here

Everyone should discover their personal legend. :-)

Paulo Coelho, author of The Alchemist

I remember receiving a letter from the American publisher, Harper Collins, which said that: “reading The Alchemist was like getting up at dawn and seeing the sun rise while the rest of the world still slept.” I went outside, looked up at the sky and thought to myself: “So, the book is going to be translated!” At the time, I was struggling to establish myself as a writer and to follow my path despite all the voices telling me it was impossible.
(more…)

He’s finally found his problem. It’ll take him a while to solve it but he will get there. But the most important part is he’s found the problem.

I Left My Heart in San Francisco’s SmugCloud - by Kertong.

Having been to San Francisco a few times, wow, anyone would love to live there but one thing about the city. They have people that are known as ‘SF snobs’ who possess this air of superiority and think that their shit doesn’t smell as bad as yours. And that’s very true. I’ll admit—I did think about how great would it be to live in SF but like Kertong said, you’d pay more rent for a smallish space, crowded parking space and deal with city traffic the minute you insert the key in. Reading his post made me realize how fortunate I am now. I live in a nice apartment that’s not too high in rent, get to work under a half hour and ofc, Fry’s store is only a few miles from here. I’d much rather to invest the extra $$$ into traveling and getting out on adventures. :-)

I’ve come to believe that what really sets humans from all other animals is our ability to communicate. Even we are hearing, deaf, blind, or whatnot, we still find ways to communicate. I think that’s just incredible.

So I typed “define:communication” in the google search. Here are the definitions:

The exchange of thoughts, messages, or information through speech, signals, writing, or behavior.

a connection allowing access between persons or places

Communication allows people to exchange thoughts by one of several methods. There are auditory means, such as speaking or singing, and physical means, such as sign language, touch, or eye contact.

The exchange of information between two points.

The exchange of thoughts, messages, or information through speech, signals, writing, or behavior.

The successful transmission of information through a common system of symbols, signs, behavior, speech, writing, or signals.

A fundamental component of social behavior; the transmission of information (messages) between a sender and a receiver using any of the five senses. Language is a form of communication specific to humans.

From Wikipedia:

Communication is the articulation of sending a message, whether it be verbal or nonverbal, so long as a being transmits a thought provoking idea, gesture, action, etc. . .

Communication can be defined as the process of meaningful interaction among human beings. It is the act of passing information and the process by which meanings are exchanged so as to produce understanding.

Communication is the process by which any message is given or received through talking, writing, or making gestures.

There are auditory means, such as speaking, singing and sometimes tone of voice, and nonverbal, physical means, such as body language, sign language, paralanguage, touch, eye contact, or the use of writing.

Ha cool, I like the last one. “The transmission of information between a sender and receiver using any of the five senses.” Very cool. :-)

One of my favorite quotes.

You will be different, sometimes you’ll feel like an outcast, but you’ll never be alone. You will make my strength your own. You will see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father and the father becomes the son.

For the longest time, I’ve always felt that I was different from most. Back then in the old school, I remember being alone but happily reading something like magazines or books. Would spend time in the library, reading stuffs. Sometimes, I go walking around, looking for new stuffs to be learned. I tried to have a good time with students but they seemed too busy trying to look cool and worry about the game of attraction. Though I had a crush on some girls, they never wanted to be with the only Asian kid with slanty eyes. Luckily, I have my parents, mentors, and teachers who kept supporting me and that if I worked hard enough, something good will come up.

When I become a father someday in the future, I’ll be the best father a kid will have. I will show my kid the best movies that must be seen (Lord of the Rings, Matrix, Star Wars, Shawshank redemption, some 1980s, ’90s flicks), teach him all the sports, take him to the games. My mom and dad set a great example for me, so when my kid goes through some hard times, I will know exactly how he feels and will guide them through it. Ofc, I will share the Superman quote with my kid. :-)

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how things are and why they come like that in life. One example of that is our thoughts. Where do our thoughts come from? Sure, it’s in the brain but exactly how they are manufactured? I’ve read that we are capable of having approx. 50,000 thoughts a day. 50,000 thoughts a day! That explains why it’s important for people to communicate, otherwise, our thoughts will go on a rampage, wondering what our friends, families are up to. I now understand why my parents keep worrying about me.

Let me share thoughts that I’m thinking right now in the next 10 seconds.

I need to do my weekly snippets
why am I even typing this post on thoughts!
I wanna buy that honda element
Super Bowl this weekend!
Disneyland next week! (Google trip)
I need to drink more water and exercise.
I need to take a break from being on computers almost 24/7
what will we be like in 5 years, 10 years?
what is my purpose on this earth?

I probably could keep doing that till I get to the 100th thought. Probably won’t be too interesting, I’m afraid.

Since I can’t record my voice on a tape, this blogging is like a recorder of my thoughts, trying to decipher what I’m thinking, learning, and writing allows me to break down information that I’m getting through my eyes. Letter by letter. Bytes by bytes. (8 bits equals one character, btw). When I’m reading something, somehow, I feel fortunate enough to be able to understand it. I’ve never thought that I would be reading a person’s post and then I found out that he graduated from Harvard University or MIT. I thought those guys were too good for me and that I wouldn’t able to understand any of it. But I do, although maybe not to the full depth but I can get the sense of what point they’re trying to make and the application of it. Granted, my writing won’t become as eloquent or pretty as theirs but it’s good enough to express some of my 50,000 thoughts a day.

:-)

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn�t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain

Something’s going to change…

Output.

First, I’m going to share a little story I learned in a math class that led me to the idea of outputting. I remember one of the beautiful things about mathematics was this concept called a function.

One time I was sitting in a math class and the teacher was explaining what does a function mean and that we will start using f(x), not y anymore. He drew this simple picture on the blackboard. It looked somewhat like a bin that you put something into it (input) and something would come out (output). So, the bin is like a function. You insert a number into the “bin” and it undergoes some kind of transformation, actually a function, and a new number comes out. Isn’t that wonderful? It can go backwards too, so you can go either way. I thought that was the most simple thing about mathematics and make the problem appear less complicated. This process concept can be applied to many things, for instance, like ourselves.

We especially as deaf people need to OUTPUT more. It doesn’t matter what that might be. Writing, blogging, vlogging, signing, coding, painting, drawing, publishing papers, building websites, so on. There could never be enough output. It doesn’t do any good if you’re doing nothing or making no output. If you have something to share, tell. Don’t be keeping things to yourself because uh how could other people know? It’s even better if you could put on some kind of medium like papers, blogs, pictures, or vlogs because they are reusable and you don’t have to be telling stories over and over. That’s old. In the past, it costs some money to publish stories. Now? it’s nearly free! Anyone can publish.

It is my prediction that in the next few years, we will possibly see the greatest growth in the deaf community ever. No longer do we have to depend on someone to produce media for us like major newspapers. We can make our own news now. We finally have a way to share ASL vlogs easily and it’s spreading like a wildfire. A person doesn’t have to find a deaf person to learn ASL. S/he can look at ASL videos and learn. It’s a little strange to meet a person who has learned some ASL but never met a single deaf person before! Of course, the best way to learn is to hang out with deaf people. The more people learn ASL, the better it will be for us. They will be more likely to support us and respect us as a linguistic culture. They will seek ways to help improve education for deaf kids, bring better accessibility and build more technology.

The only way for people to know more about us is by outputting. Go write something, make vlogs, arts, publish research papers, anything. That is how we advance as a society.

You know, we’re all alike. We have a life to live and for that, there are times that we wonder what is the meaning of life and our purpose within.

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and what I want to get out of life. One of my friends wrote this, “Well, there comes a time in every man’s life when he must sit up and realize that things are going to change. And today is that day for me.” I think that moment has come for me too. For the past two or three years, I feel like I’ve been floating through life like I’m behind smoked windows or through a long mist without really knowing where I want to go.

Also I’ve been figuring out what is my passion and that’s one big thing I learned about work or things that you do. You must have passion. If you don’t have that, everything pretty much goes sour. I think I’ve found my passion and that is building websites. I’m not that good at photoshop; I always drool at someone’s graphic design skill but I’m not gonna give up. I just gotta play with PS a bit more often and use tutorials. What am I seem to be good at is having an eye and a feel for what makes a good working website. I’m a big believer in “one-page” sites. You don’t want to make a person to waste too much time clicking on pages or for the page to be finally loaded (more than 10 seconds is too long). That’s why I’m using a cache to reduce load time. I’m also not very good at programming like I cannot make a working calculator off a scratch but I’m pretty good at looking at codes, figuring out what they do, and then patch them up together.

I feel I’m at a point where I either act now or it’s never going to happen. The opportunity is there. It’s up to me to take it. If not, well, I’m gonna end up like one of those guys who would go straight to a bar after work and rant about how much he dislikes his manager, how bad his day was, and talk about how he should have done this or that some 10, 15 years ago but didn’t because he was either afraid or just did nothing. I don’t want to become that person. So, I’m going to stop bullshitting around and do something. Be productive. Time doesn’t wait for anyone.

It’s now or never.